Hobbies

Dear Diary,

I've come up with a list of possible sports I could take up, with pros and cons for each:

Kickboxing
Pros: Fun, exhilarating, and a good workout.
Cons: What if I get pregnant, and before I know I'm pregnant, get kicked in the stomach by a clumsy partner? What if intensive exercise is bad for a new foetus?

Rockclimbing
Pros:Also fun, not quite as exhilarating but a good workout - and maybe too much adrenaline is bad for foetuses too. Great for the butt, and I've heard that one's butt goes downhill during pregnancy, so it'll need all the help it can get.
Cons: If I fell while I was pregnant, maybe the harness could crush a developing foetus. Or my partner could lose concentration, and I'd fall on my head on the ground and they'd keep me alive as a vegetable until the baby was born, and my son or daughter would be teased at school for being half human, half vegetable. I don't think I want that for our baby.

Running
Pros: Quite safe, as long as I avoid roads and falling over. But could I?
Cons: Boring as heck. I couldn't stick with it.

Team Sports
Pros: There are a lot of non-contact team sports. Team spirit. Socialisation. Fun. Accountability.
Cons: How many non-contact sports are really non-contact? I've seen some nasty bruises on John from 'touch' football, and Sarah has a lot of violent netball stories. Not to mention her husband's talent for getting injured - eg. trying to catch a cricket ball with his nose. And he's more co-ordinated than me!

Yoga
Pros: Almost completely safe, unless I fall over attempting a tricky pose. For me, that's sort of all of them... but I'd need to fall on my stomach... unlikely. Very low-impact.
Cons: I can't think of any. Except the embarrassment caused if John walks in and sees me in some strange pose on the floor. Hang on - this is the man who's seen me do upside-down bicycle pedalling after sex so that the sperm know which way to go. Is this really worse?

Tai chi
Pros: Even safer than yoga, except that I'm standing up, so if I do fall, it'll hurt more. I don't think people fall over very often though, even when they're learning. Old people with fake hips do tai chi - how dangerous can it be? Gives me the illusion of learning a martial art, without the extreme pain usually involved in martial arts.
Cons: Won't get me very fit or toned.

Walking
Pros: See running, but slower. I might get to know the neighbourhood.
Cons: Boring, but not as bad as running, weirdly. Maybe because I'd get a chance to properly spy on people in the neighbourhood instead of rushing past them. Blurs are really boring. I could get mugged, though.