CRUD

Dear Diary,

It's not implantation bleeding. Not unless there's a whole swarm of babies burrowing in there. I'm not pregnant.

I'm going nuts, aren't I? I'm turning into one of those psycho women who get so caught up in trying to conceive that they have imaginary pregnancies for months at a time.

Maybe I should just skip that stage and have an imaginary baby. Think about it! No dirty nappies, no interruptions you don't actually want, no stress over cleaning bottles or soothing bitten nipples.

That sounds great. I wonder if I can rope John in too.

Do you think we should get a pram for Imaginary Baby?